Swiss dating/relationship etiquette

• Hello, I've been in a serious relationship with a Swiss guy for over a year now. One of my concerns is that he appears to be ungenerous when it comes to paying for things. I've always offered to split everything from the very beginning and he has never declined or offered to pay for me even though he earns much more than me. I wasn't sure if it was part of the Swiss etiquette for a woman to always pay her share if he is just "stingy" with his money. I care for this man very much but don't want to invest my emotions into someone that is stingy with me. I find it a little unromantic and ungentlemanly like.
  
  Some feedback would be great. Thank you.

  25 Sep 2008, 01:31 Unsure

Replies

• Swiss die for money

  It's known that swiss like money more than themselves. They're slaves to money. They can sell themsleves because of money.

  Carl 26 Sep 2008, 11:22 - Report

• He's not stingy

  He just wants to be sure that you guys have an equal and fair relationship where both pay. I think he's very concerned about your relationship. Also, more and more women nowadays feel offended if the man pays for them, it's like assuming they can afford nothing and don't have a job.
  
  You have to make a decision: Be a poor princess or an emancipated woman. Cannot be both depending on your daily mood.

  Cinderella 01 Oct 2008, 11:17 - Report

• hmmm depends!

  My boyfriend is swiss and he has been very generous...he gets me dinner, when Ive had financial problems, he's there to help...etc, but is a fact that...they like independant woman like in all modern cultures! hehe...what I find weird is that he never offers to pay...that's so ruuude! my mom gave me an advice one time: even if u have money, tell your man you are broke hehehe...do never let them know you'd pay the bill hehehe...good luck!

  Ann 06 Oct 2008, 04:12 - Report

• Hmm

  I was dating this swiss guy and he was being very generous to me all the time. He paid for almost everything and treated me really well. May be every man is different. Good luck!

  L 17 Oct 2008, 05:34 - Report

• I know

  I am dating a Swis guy and he pays when we go out but presents at birthdays etc are not 'to write home about'. I agree the Swiss like their money but if he is not treating you then you are definately second best to something. Usually their wife.

  Keel 26 Dec 2008, 10:35 - Report

• every man is different

  I think your boyfriend is stingy, no matter were they are from,when they are stingy...uff you better try to get patient, or look for another relationship, I don´t care about how to spent the money, or to invite guys, but it becomes a great problem,after time, think about it and good luck.

  frida 07 Jan 2009, 10:29 - Report

• Carl

  Carl,
  Being of Swiss heritage and having visited my Swiss relatives (let alone being proud to call my Swiss grandmother the most giving person I know)I take great offense to your "advice" given to a serious question. Lets use this site for educational purposes only and leave the ignorant opinions at the door

  Anna Mireille 08 Jan 2009, 05:45 - Report

• great article

  I have been flirting with a swiss guy.. I have read now that they are cheap.. I will have to re-evaluate this a bit more before, pursuing the relationship now. He is quick to tell me "I am attractive" and so..
  I don't expect a man to pay for everything, but somethings..yes!!! Women earn less than men normally, as a whole.. If, I want to split meals and etc.. I could go out with a girlfriend.. That isn't romantic at all...
  Do swiss men expect their wives to pay too?????

  Anita 17 Mar 2009, 11:49 - Report

• PS. My advice

  Dump the cheap jerk...
  Give him 50% of the sex and see what he say's...

  anita 17 Mar 2009, 11:51 - Report

• don't date him

  Anita,send him to hell!!! he was to quick to tell you that you are attractive? how about an idiot,who sent me 700 emails talking about how he loves me and wants to be with me..........and then out of a blue just changed his mind????? it was all awesome will i asked ....what is next????.....trust me they are very different people.......don't get in to that!!!!

  canadian girl 22 Mar 2009, 06:36 - Report

• cheap cheap and cheap

  Yeah, just to Anna Mireille...
  
  The Swiss are known for possessing many good qualities. This includes being hard-working, punctual and precise. But sweetheart, romantic and nurturing definitely doesn't make the list.
  
  I've lived in Switzerland for several years and must agree that many people on this forum have a point when they say that the Swiss are cold and invest more energy into money rather than lesser material persuits. Of course there are exceptions, but honey, I gotta tell ya, that kind left Switzerland a long time ago.
  
  Thank God 25% of the population if foreign-born. Otherwise, I don't know how I'd get through my daily life here.
  
  Peace everyone.

  Genever 23 Mar 2009, 09:41 - Report

• that's how they are...

  hey,
  I'm Swiss and spent my life there until I was 20 - I'm now living in Scotland. Very ashamed to hear about one of my countrymen treating you like this! But then, thinking about it, this is probably part of the Swiss mentality.
  To give you an example: when I visited my family a few months ago we went to one of the local pubs. Since the "paying rounds" thing has become quite normal for me, I went and bought drinks for everyone - only to be stared at with big eyes and expressions of disbelieve. I said not to worry and reminded them that it would be quite common in the UK. However, if you now think the penny had dropped, you're wrong. After this first round I still had to introduce them to the idea that it would probably be appropriate for another person to buy a couple of drinks now... I then still had to explain that I didn't chose a CHF 1.50 more expensive drink in the next round on purpose when another person was buying it. Just a little example...
  So, coming from another country where people are generally less concerned about such (unnecessary really!) money issues might probably make life quite difficult at first in Switzerland. Just try to understand them and maybe you manage to convert one or the other to think less about money and more about enjoying life and having fun!

  Sash 06 Apr 2009, 03:51 - Report

• Polish Girls

  So does anyone have advice on Polish girls? I'm going to attempt to make a relationship with one and want to know if there are things to look for. Not generalizations obviously, but perhaps cultural things they do.

  Mansal 08 Apr 2009, 03:16 - Report

• Choices choices

  Girls, girls, girls. Please!
  
  This is the 21 century. You have fought a long time for the vote, education, to be able to wear trousers, to be able to be engineers, firefighters and pilots. To have the chance to be the CEO and get equal pay and now you are complaining that you get to pay your equal share!!
  
  Let me tell you something. Whatever country we are talking here, men have no idea what to do anymore. Open the doors for you or not. Pay for the meal or not. Maybe when you guys finally decide just what it is that you want, maybe the men will have a better idea of what the hell they are supposed to be. A modern metrosexual or the caveman.
  
  The problem is many of you seem to want the top jobs, equal money but you still want the door held open and the meal paid for you.. In other words, some of you want it all.
  
  If you want romance, try the Latins. Spain or Italy maybe. But just don't be shocked if after all the roses and serenading he ends up in a white vest on the sofa watching the football whilst you are stuck in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning and looking after the kids. Swings and roundabouts I think the term is
  
  Good Luck

  English Sculptor 09 Apr 2009, 10:15 - Report

• golddigger...

  if he is stingy then you are a golddigger
  
  on the first few dates it's okay for the guy to pay but after that (when you together make up your own programs) everything should be shared. if you want to be treated as an equal person do your part of the job!!
  
  and telling a guy that your are broken when you have money is not only disgusting but very cheap...

  a european moving to genéva 28 Apr 2009, 12:33 - Report

• nowadays men are too clever...

  women always cost men money. If men don't want to pay for everything what they have to do is giving us their jobs with their salaries, then we'll pay for them. While they keep on having most of the purchasing power they must pay, and stupid the girl who allows them to save money on theirs, money that a while later they're going to spend in night clubs and brothels.

  Anika 28 Apr 2009, 01:09 - Report

• I have a date tonight with a Swiss guy

  Only drinks. I hope he pays for the drinks; otherwise I am erasing him from my list.
  
  Men paying on the firt date is the basics.

  Beautiful Latin Woman 30 Apr 2009, 12:50 - Report

• Hello

  I am a guy of intergrity and A guy who is full of knowledge and understanding ,who cares everything about love and cares without cogitating on the other part of it .my name is Mr Prince but my friends called me lonelyboy and u can call me Honey because i dont want to anwer lonelyboy am getting intouch with you now so just contact me through my email adress ([email removed])and you can add me to your yahoo messenger .
  [email removed]

  prince 19 May 2009, 07:08 - Report

• need one 2

  I will try a polisg dating agancy ?
  Any advise ?

  Jo 09 Jun 2009, 04:19 - Report

• HI

  Distance,colour or age does not matter but love matters alot in life)PLEASE CONTACT ME WITH MY E-MAIL ADDERS AND NOT THIS SITE OK([email removed]).

  BLESSING 23 Jun 2009, 01:29 - Report

• Polish Girls Answer

  In Switzerland Polish people exist? I don't know anyone.
  Anyway, I love blondes with blue eyes, but not the many fake blondes with colored hairs! And there are things to look for, yeah. For Polish girls is pre-marital sex taboo, they wait for the right man!
  I personally see only positive in it... I could write more about this theme but I keep my answer short.
  Be a gentleman and not stingy. Be a man and make the first move. Good luck!

  Lukasz 09 Jul 2009, 03:26 - Report